Crumbs!!!

For Every Year

2010-02-01T13:32:00.000-08:00

Crispin Best is a celebrity.

1527 has gas

I will tell you in another life when we are both cats

2010-01-19T17:24:00.000-08:00

In Paris I stayed in a fancy french hotel opposite The Parthenon with spongy wallpaper like a hand painted Gym mat or a mental institution.
In Paris I ate dinner with a priest and danced a light fandango between our awkward silences. Mid way through our starter he handed me his business card.
In Paris I watched aforementioned priest walk past a homeless man and thought 'is he supposed to do that?'
In Paris I reflected on my shortcomings and felt not a little bit sorry for myself.
In Paris I watched 'Vanilla Sky' and thought if 'every second is a chance to turn *it* around', what happens when you can't stop turning and you are dizzy and disorientated from all the spinning so that when you finally stop you don't know where you are. how many turns is ok?
In Paris I felt clever for thinking a tiny thought about something that was said in Vanilla Sky (see above) and then felt woefully inadequate about how easily pleased I am and how I'll "never amount to anything".
In Paris I got a one ring call abort at 1.47am from a town in Scotland I've never even heard of.
In Paris what am I still doing awake?

GOOD THINGS OF LATE:
'Eating Animals' by Jonathan Safran Foer - I cannot recommend this book enough for its information about the meat industry. I guess youre not going to read this unless you're already a concerned veggie but on the other hand maybe it's good to know things about the things you choose to do. Everything is so complicated these days.
'Musicophilia' by Oliver Sacks - Awesome in the absolute fullest sense of the word. As with all (2) of Sacks' books that I have read completely accessible and really entertaining.
I haven't read any story books (!) recently but I got two books of poems by Jon Sands a while back and some of those poems are just ARGH so word perfect and moment perfect that I just don't know what to do with myself aside from fold over a little corner of the page so I can return to it with ease.

What is that song where it goes 'it's been a long time. We shouldn't-a left you. without a dope beat to step to. step to. step to... why do I have that in my head please?

I have now been awake too many hours now
Goodnight most haunted

1527 is coming around again!

It's a sky blue sky

2009-11-15T10:14:00.001-08:00

"let's call the calling off off"

More of this guy

you don't understand he said

2009-11-10T07:14:00.001-08:00

and then before you know
can't even listen to the radio
every song's like a black hole
pulls you in and it won't let you go

Fast Cars, fine ass, these things will pass & it won't get more profound

2009-10-23T10:27:00.001-07:00

I've seen fire and I've seen rain

2009-10-16T05:34:00.000-07:00

Today I read this and thought wow:

You are a shadow my body leaves on other girls.

I have no opinion about this. And I have no opinion about that.

2009-10-15T14:12:00.000-07:00

"She comes back to tell me she's gone"

(or "Fat Charlie the archangel files for divorce")

I love Paul Simon

I am reading a book about the human brain called 'The Creative Loop. How the brain makes a mind'.

It made my toes cramp a little to think about the processing and the reprocessing and the reprocessing. agh.

I love Paul Simon

"I hid under your porch because I love you"

2009-10-11T05:44:00.000-07:00

So here are some things.

The first thing is this photograph, from an old exhibition by Dawn Cerny called 'We are all going to die (except for you)'. Which seemed pretty great, and reminded me a bit of the work of a former 'local' artist, named Rosalind Inett. Just the one bit actually with the tiny soldier guys coming out of the walls and dying all over the floor... er, so.

The second and third things are recommendations:

II. Up - as if you weren't going to see this already, but it's very very good. I was having a worthwhile intellectual debate last night about whether the cinematic experience of 'Up' surpassed 'Wall-E' or not and it went something like this:

YOU: This is definitely better than Wall-E, they've definitely outdone themselves this time

ME: No, it's not. I still prefer Wall-E. I think Wall-E is better

YOU: I think this was better

ME: I think Wall-E is better

So, yeah, good critical analysis eh?! But, genuinely, it feels like Pixar aren't even trying to make films for kids anymore. This was out and out a film about loss, and it was truly heartbreaking in a lot of places. But, it was also a lot of fun and as always a pleasure to watch. I wonder if Pixar aren't capturing perfectly the bigger 'themes' of our time or some shit. In the distant future maybe people will study Pixar films as a record of our society. In Wall-E the concern was obviously environmental and then there was also the obesity issue and isolation of the modern human. In Up, the little touches like the housing development, treatment of the elderly by certain 'systems' and the boys father missing from the 'Wilderness Explorers' ceremony, just all feels like a perfectly subtle portraiture of modern day life in 'Western Civilisation'.

III. Matthew Simmons' book 'A Jello Horse'. Is 'book' the correct term? Or is there a technical term for it because it is a short book (like an EP instead of an album?). I had read a couple of good and intriguing things about this and so I bought it.

I received it yesterday and read half yesterday and half today. Initially I was a little nervous about it, because it felt a bit sparse and like the kind of 'I do this and then I do this' style, which I'm still not convinced by, only it was 'You do this...'. Anyway, this turned out not to be an issue at all and it was really excellent and enjoyable.

It also feels a lot bigger than it is. It is a quick read and an easy read but the way that the little moments in it are written means that a lot of the ideas in it stay with you after you've finished it. It's like if you were eating at a really fancy restaurant and they give you like the smallest portion of food on the middle of your plate and you think to yourself that there is no way that you are going to be full after eating that tiny portion, but the tiny portion of food has been created so perfectly that you feel like you've eaten a good satisfying meal anyway. And those flavours will haunt your tastebuds now whenever you are hungry (mmm coconut rice and garlic mushrooms). Ha, enough of that analogy. Buy the book! I need to eat.

William Carlos Williams

2009-10-05T14:06:00.000-07:00


"no whiteness (lost) is so white as the memory
                              of whiteness"

"Night, you fucking challenger, here I am"

2009-10-02T04:32:00.000-07:00

Reasons it must be October:

head hair falling out

bodily hair growing thicker

finger nails growing more quickly (?)

thoughts about death increased

trees looking strange but beautiful

study time! (usually my study time would be synonymous with torrential rain storms in a lovely historic corner of England only meant for daytrips, not intended to be endured for 3 long years. A town with only one exit point taking you back to the rest of the country, unless you took your chance in the sea and after that, France.) The point is though, it is study time, just sans the rain and I'm pretty excited about that.

Watched 'I Am Trying To Break Your Heart' and it was good, but the way it looked was... better than good. Super? Artistic? It was classic looking. Classy, like grainy black and white photographs. 'French' I guess, maybe just because they were smoking a lot? Almost every shot was perfect. Imagine if you freeze framed every shot in that film and just plastered the interior walls of a house with all those photos so that you walked through it all in sequence... that could be pretty nice. I'll let you imagine it.

Flew to Amsterdam on Monday for one day. And my god, the sky up there.

You should see it.

On take off I just feel completely terrified and exhilarated and privileged.

And that combination of those feelings + whatever is going on with the clouds.

It really doesn't matter what the clouds are doing, they're always doing something great.

I guess it's just a completely different way of viewing something that I take for granted.

From plane windows I've seen some of the most spectacular sunsets of my life and the Aurora Borealis.

Look, this won't do it justice but anyway - this was what was happening on Monday in the sky above Luton:

I feel a little bit like a have lost the part of my mind that made me a rational human being so if you see that anywhere feel free to let me know, thanks.

at the heart of the sun is a black hole

2009-09-20T02:17:00.000-07:00

...probably

Bureau de Books - new collection of writings about 'LIFE' is now ready for shipping!!! You can go here to find out more...

Thought that THIS portrait photography thing was amazing and overwhelming all at once (explanation from 'the rumpus')

Was pointed in the direction of this 'Passive Agressive' notes thing by lovely Becky

Really enjoying Justin Taylor's 'Creative Writing 101' series at HTML giant, initially because they were studying David Berman, but also just because it makes for interesting reading.

Got! tickets! for! the! first! announced! Pavement! reunion! show! in! NYC2010-@)!)!!!

(obviously it's not going to be the first show they play because they're doing a whole reunion tour in 2010, but pre-ttttttttty exciting nonetheless! YES!)

oh, to be dunked in a rising vat of warm bread dough

2009-08-27T08:32:00.000-07:00

returned from Ghana
got quite sick
have eaten a total of 6 slices of toast since Sunday
better now... ish

read this thought it was funny:

hahaha

enjoy

maybe...

'When You Wake Up Feeling Old'

2009-08-12T14:20:00.000-07:00

I submitted an old photo and a piece of writing to this thing that the very talented Kathryn Regina is curating. It seems like a really nice idea. I'm excited and a little apprehensive to see what comes of it all.

I am ten years old in the photo.

My parents or Ferris Bueller told me that 'Life moves pretty fast'

I think Pink Floyd told them

'And then one day you'll find ten years have got behind you'

I thought I understood

I thought I was hyper aware of the passing of time

but all the same it's been and gone

how did that happen?

I will not hide anything

in a dusty box because it does, and will,

and has returned

returned

as an un-

settling reminder that 21 years have passed

So, I will leave everything on display

in this house

and then time will not pass

but rather

accumulate

in the same way

as I

gather

more things

and when I am old maybe I will wear all these medals

maybe I will have more old dusty junk to wear

when I'm old I'll make dresses from my diary pages,

adorn myself

in all the misguided gifts of jewelry

bought and never worn

douse myself in over-

powering perfume

and light a match

Don't forget your hat

2009-08-10T03:12:00.000-07:00

'cause there's changes in the Ocean
and there's changes in the Sea
and there's changes in my own true love
but there ain't no change in me

my goodness I have just finished the book

'Bringing it all back home' by Ian Clayton

it is an autobiography

set to words

about music

very very lovely

and full of heart.

makes me feel completely

ignorant and naive

or sheltered (or something)

about music

and life.

goodness.

i did not realise it would end

the way it did

i had to read it twice

and remind myself

it was a non-fiction book

before it really struck me

and then it really struck me

i tried to play

some

Mendelssohn (op.64)

on the violin

(the easy kids version)

failed

but getting there

probably...

little bernadette - coming this weekend!!!:

named after the song

'Little Bernadette'

by Sweet Baboo

(seen last Wednesday at the Fishmarket in Northampton - amazing live performance):

Great Job, Well Done (Awesome Show)

2009-08-04T09:32:00.000-07:00

I didn't see it but through the wonders of technology I got to glimpse the first park of Jurassic Park - The Musical!!!!

Well done Chris East and Charlie Wood

How's the water?

2009-07-28T03:14:00.000-07:00

'Happiness' an' that

tea parties for the elderly, dang good ideeeee

Off to London tomorrow to do my bit of pretending to be a contestant on 'The Apprentice'.

I hope I don't mistake the cost of something written as thousands of pounds for hundreds of pounds and then pick the most expensive way to develop something... and then get fired! :S

Margaret Mountford!

If it's not love then it's the bomb that will bring us together.

2009-07-23T09:35:00.000-07:00

Is it wrong that I'm taking life lessons from Morrissey now?

Here are Chris and I enjoying some 'Art' in Dublin:

Everyone else was enjoying U2.

EVERYONE.

EVERYWHERE.

It was a little overbearing.

So, there were three ways to enjoy yourself this weekend in Dublin and all of them branded and most of them U2 related.

1. The U2 '360 degree' thing. Clothing requirements - a U2 tour T-shirt

2. The 'traditional' Dublin experience drinking 'Guinness' in 'Guinness' branded pubs. Soundtrack requirements - U2 blaring on the stereo continuously OR a U2 tribute band blaring over the PA system OR the U2 'live in concert' DVD playing on the television. Sometimes all three.

3. The 'Carlsberg' comedy festival where for a mere £100 you can see three comedy shows and if you give them your number they'll call you in about a week to ask you a few questions about the festival and 'drinking in general'. Festival requirement - Everything must be 'Carlsberg' branded, even the Guinness.

Does this imply I didn't enjoy my Dublin weekend?

But, I did.

Very much.

I saw some good comedy.

I saw some questionable comedy.

I was surprised by the kindness of strangers.

I met some good people.

I met a complete comedy hero and all round nice guy.

I listened to the 60 Smiths songs on my ipod on the journey home.

It was, as the Canadians say 'all good'.

B12, marmite is your BFF

2009-07-20T05:10:00.000-07:00

So I'm finding out it's important to make sure you get enough vitamin B12
which is something you only get from milk, egg, cheese...
and marmite! But it's something you don't want to mess around with as it affects your nervous system and your blood if you don't get enough!!

So...

1. a spoonfull of marmite a day (probs on toast or crumpets)
2. supplements

3. Keats (and yeeeeets are on your side)
4. Home made Vegan Sushi! First try:

5. 'Moon' with Sam Rockwell
6. Eugene Mirman at Dublin comedy festival this Saturday
7. I will try and be happier

I was puzzled by a dream, it stayed with me all day in 1995

2009-07-17T03:35:00.000-07:00

10,000 hours of something equals an expert, a pro, a winner
10,000 hours is 416.66666666666666666666 days (the number of the devil?)
10,000 hours is 59.5238095237 weeks
10,000 hours is approximately 14.8 months
10,000 hours is just over a year of your life
hmm.

I was surprised. I was happy for a day in 1975

2009-07-17T00:10:00.000-07:00

moist air or warm rain?

2009-07-15T01:33:00.001-07:00

This story on HTML Giant made me very happy

also this first line of a poem titled 'When This Borrowed Car Burns' by Sean Patrick Hill

"We'll loiter toothless by the sea"

If I can learn how to make good vegan sushi I think I might be happy forever.

Just read this amazing story in the 'My Mistresses Sparrow Is Dead' anthology. The story is called 'Spring in Fialta' and it's by Vladimir Nabakov. Maybe I need to read Lolita now... another one to add to the list.

Here are some parts of 'Spring in Fialta' that I maybe don't have the authority to reproduce:

"Back into the past, back into the past, as I did every time I met her, repeating the whole accumulation of the plot from the very beginning up to the last increment - thus in Russian fairy tales the already told is bunched up again at every new turn of the story"

"...in that life-quickening atmosphere of a big railway station where everything is something trembling on the brink of something else"

"...as for history it will limit his life story to the dash between two dates".

WOW. Good eh? You should really hunt it down. It's so beautifully written. In fact the whole anthology has been pretty great. Good way of finding 'new' writers (new to me). For instance Gilbert Sorrentino's story 'The Moon in it's flight' literally left me in tears. Ha, little bit embarrassed to admit to that but it's late and I just watched 'The Wrestler' and I'm feeling a bit more emotional that usual. Usually I feel pretty emotional.

Enough.

Vegan Sushi! YES.

The Colonel Says I Love You

2009-07-14T02:03:00.000-07:00

I just read this post on another blog...

Am I? Am I just twittering without the twitter?!

I submitted something to this thing

This on line thing

And then immediately regretted it.
Wanted to go back in time

Five minutes and delete delete delete

Oh dear

That need to just get something out there once it's written.
Just because it's written
Then when it's gone it's gone

I sort of have to psych myself up to submit
Take deep breaths
Punch my fists into imaginary punch bags
Jog, energetically
On the spot

And then click 'send'

Gone

Into the Abyss
To be judged

Is there an innate human need to be judged

Or evaluated?
Or is it just any recognition that
I EXIST
I am here
I am alive

I have thought
GAH!

Vegan is going ok.
So far.
Baked a stodgy vegan chocolate cake yesterday
It is OK
It's not the best cake I've tasted or anything like that
But it is CAKE.

Peoples reactions to the whole thing

have been strange

veering from

militant questioning to
outright mockery to
heartfelt concern
over getting swine flu
as a result of not eating properly.

I'm eating properly.

Heard a story called

'The Colonel Says I Love You'

On the New Yorker podcast

I wish they would make more of those things

You should go listen

If you like that sort of thing

It's good I swear

It's Russian

Russian literature sounds like it would be cool, right?

the way things are going, they're gonna crucify me

2009-07-10T06:59:00.000-07:00

was that too dramatic a title?
i don't know.
i've been listening to the beatles a lot lately.
they had a lot of good things to say I think.
try listening to the beatles with a friend
one earphone each
sometimes you will get no singing where there should be singing
it's very unsettling.
it's like beatles karaoke
but more incorrect.

the beatles albums are still all pretty expensive
why is that?
because there is still a market for them, so people can charge what they want?
who gets that money?
does it all go to McCartney?
'they' should make all the bad and awful music in the world very expensive
and give out beatles albums for free with the sunday papers. ha.

i visited the place where John Lennon got shot
a month or so ago
(i'm not a massive beatles/lennon fan or anything
just happened to be passing)
it was in the courtyard to his apartment building
just seems so awful and unexpected and unfair
cowardly and kind of grotesque
and that 'guy'
'the one' who shall not be named
did it so 'he' would be famous
i wish i didn't know his name.

have had good news today and bad news.
sometimes it all feels like

TOO MUCH

i'm trying to think 'good' things

i think i did some 'good' things
and then something 'nice' happened
so is that 'karma'?

i don't know if i believe in all 'that' stuff
but i will tell you one thing
it is 'nice' to be nice
and
it is 'good' to be good
regardless, i think.

WAFFLE & APOLOGIES

NSFWC + GSOH

2009-07-09T02:52:00.001-07:00

if you have the word Bryant in your name I'm pretty sure that means you're definitely going to be successful at something...

if you place your fingers on the neck of the violin in the exact right place and hit a perfect note it vibrates inside your ear like there is no room inside your ear for another sound...

trying to be vegan.
giving it a try
the trial run
for the long haul
who knows?
tough.
it's tough.
there is no cheese
and no yoghurt
and no milk
even the milk offered to you by friends,
even in goodwill,
you cannot accept.

i think it's going to be good
eventually
when i hit my stride
find some good fake cheese
find some good fake chocolate
not 'mocolate' (saw that episode of 'friends' the other day)

what am i trying to say?
i wish i had time to read all the books i buy
basically.

should stop thinking of things to do
and focus on
some of the things i have thought of
not the stalking of
borderline celebrity-types

yep.
ok then.

"Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense." - Gertrude Stein

2009-06-30T04:47:00.000-07:00

I have no attention span these days.

It is very hot.

There are thunder flies crawling
On my computer screen
And my skin.
I know somehow
Eventually
They will get between the light and the screen
And for a while
They will wander around
Between the light and the screen
Then they will die

Beneath the screen
And every time I am writing
I'll think
Why does that word have an accent?

"Can you run as fast as this house will fall?"

2009-06-28T14:19:00.001-07:00

So Chris East (contemporary poet) and I are working on this collection of short pieces titled "Questions About Life & Shit".

So far we have had some really great submissions and I'm pretty excited about seeing the thing finally come together. In the meantime we're going to be putting our previous collection up on the Bureau de Books website very soon. So maybe watch that space if you like!

With regards to the previous post about the Iranian diplomats in the UK and the British Diplomats in Iran, I was speaking to my friend and 'politics expert' this weekend. He said that when something like this happens we use the excuse to get rid of a few secret service agents and that is what has happened this time... apparently. When he told me this I'd had a few glasses of wine and I accepted the explanation at face value but now I'm re-telling this all stone-cold-sober I feel like this doesn't really hold up. But who knows what goes on? Who knows?

So, I'm enjoying the new Sunset Rubdown album A LOT. Thanks for asking!

Oh goodness I've gotten all caught up in that video now.

Er, where was I? Oh yes. I visited the National Gallery in London today and they have made all these dolls of 'famous artists' and here is a Van Gogh magnet:

Creepy eh? And his ears come off!! Do kids need this kind of stuff to engage with art? I guess it's better than having a barbie as an idol. I don't know if they are supposed to be shoddily made but the beard on the top right one is totally falling off. Bit weird.

Oh, and there was this article in 'The Times' about how the fans killed MJ. I don't know about that. It's an interesting article but I can't help but feel that the role the media has to play in perpetuating the fan/star relationship (obsession) is a little neglected:

"But today this isn’t enough. We demand access all areas. Through the story arcs of famous lives played out in countless celeb magazines and blogs, we make sense of our own. Their vulnerability, failings and lost loves — for all their blessings of beauty and talent — make us feel better about our own lowly woes. Fandom is imitative and passive, it makes us sweat over the ASOS website to buy a copy of a skirt we saw Jennifer Aniston wear in Heat. Fans are vampires, feeders, jackals, bores."

"Well I suppose you found a classic answer when you moved up to the mountains"

2009-06-24T05:06:00.000-07:00

I didn't really want this to all be this-sort-of-thing.

TREES! Do you like trees? GO!HERE.

On another completely unrelated note I have very much VERY MUCH been enjoying the blogging of Carey Mercer.

And on a sort of related note I am really looking forward to receiving the new Sunset Rubdown album this week. Yep. 'Random Spirit Lover' was freaking awesome. I've heard one song off the new album and it was freaking awesome. I'm excited.

Two Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrs (A.K.A 'Gone are the days bonfires make me think of you')

2009-06-23T04:24:00.000-07:00

Number One:

"Currently, BNP recruitment is open to members of the party who, according to its constitution, are of … "'indigenous Caucasian' and defined 'ethnic groups' emanating from that Race"."

Number Two:

"A hundred people from a group of Romanians who suffered racist attacks in Belfast have decided to leave the country and return to Romania , the Northern Ireland social development minister confirmed today."

WTF?!!!!!!

Also as a Post Script (PS.yes?) End of Day Thought (EODT... not so well known) I can honestly say I do not understand International Diplomatic Relations. Are we in the playground? What exactly does the removal of Iranian diplomats from the UK mean as a direct response to removal of British diplomats from Iran? I mean I don't understand how this is a constructive move. I think I understand that it symbolises that we won't stand for no shit and that if you "hurt" one of our boys we are most certainly prepared to "hurt" one of yours. OR maybe it means "OK, you don't want to talk to us but we don't want to talk to you either". But I don't understand how this is fostering good diplomatic relations OR how this will help resolve the election issues in Iran. I mean we seem like a pretty intolerant country already, right (see above)? And I think I understand that there is a lot of shit going on in Iran with the elections and what-not but I still don't understand what this move says about us, the British... are we reactionary? Are we petty? I think there is some sense in "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer" and I think there is sense in communication. I think I just expected something better. David Cameron and Gordon Brown both seem perfectly happy with this though sooooooo...

gOLD Bug

2009-06-22T05:45:00.000-07:00

Whole Lotta of Love

2009-06-20T04:35:00.000-07:00

Summer is HERE*

I need to go outside.

*similar thing happened

Green man 2007

Robert Plant

playing "that" song, which is just the same bit of music over

& over

again

the one that is/was on Top of the Pops

& it started

with just a couple of us

dancing

like idiots

then a few more

& then

a few

& before long

we are a

BIG

extended

weird

family

idiots dancing

& then

are

conga-line-of-idiots-dancing-conga-line-of-idiots-dancing-conga-line-of-idiots-dancing

collecting

more & more people

dancing

idiots.

i like how the music sometimes sort of gets away with you

i have dreams of a future society where we communicate using only music... like, instead of words

Schopenhauer!

We'll dance to the songs of the cars as they pass

2009-06-19T00:48:00.000-07:00

People talk and argue and get in a state about $$$money$$$ a lot.

It's an abstract concept that we place huge value (literally) on, that causes a lot of problems for a lot of people.

Go and read 'King Solomon's Mines'.

I read George Orwells 'Keep the Aspidistra Flying' and felt like an ass.

But I still want to opt out.

I did feel a bit sorry for Jack Straw (the demon headmaster) this morning. I almost always feel sorry for Politicians when I hear them on the radio. Especially Gordon Brown - I wish people would stop asking him to apologise. BUT there HAS to be more important things to talk about in terms of human life and politics than money. Right? BUT money is all we talk about all the time. I mean expenses is the most boring political "scandal" and it's been in the headlines now for weeks and weeks. Do something more constructive with your time...maybe. We elected these people.

On the other side of the fence something should probably be said about possible incitement to hatred of the Daily Mail on-line poll 'Should the NHS allow gipsies to jump the queue?' following an article on the issue. Thanks to Crispin Best for sending me the link to the poll and telling me to vote YES (at last check 93% of voters were saying yes although it now seems to have disappeared from existence). It was the most fun I had all day!

The more I think about it the more absurd it all seems.

and the cheque when it arrived we went dutch dutch dutch dutchh

2009-06-18T09:50:00.000-07:00

(from the book how the water feels to the fishes

by Dave Eggers *do i get in trouble for doing this

sort of thing?)

i decided to start again.

start over or something.

i was so bored by it all.

not all of the time.

but most of the time.

i can't imagine how bored you must have been.

this is probs going to be

just.

as.

boring.

sozzzzzzzza!!!!!

i enjoyed reading this today:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/jun/18/mp-expenses-claims-odd

Favourite ones have to be this:

George Osborne £47 for two DVDs of his own speech on Value for Taxpayers' Money

and this:

Alex Salmond £2,109.13 for a high-powered letter-folding machine

Who knew there was such a thing as a high powered letter folding machine?

Why would anyone want to become a politician?

Can democracy work?

Are there really any viable alternatives?

Would communism be the best thing ever like a utopian society or really really dull and oppressive like a brown suit?